3 Things to Stop Doing for a Happier Life

Why you should stop courting potential, take up your rightful space, and share your love with people who genuinely value you. Happiness is within reach, and here are 3 things to stop doing to make space for a happier life.

Dear Spirited Earthling,

Have you ever felt like something is holding you back from living your happiest, most authentic life? Sometimes, it’s not about doing more, but rather about stopping the things that drain your energy and self-worth. Creating a life you love sometimes means recognising habits that may be holding you back. Here are three things to let go of to create space for a more fulfilling life. Perhaps one, if not all three, will resonate with you and provide the encouragement to make meaningful changes.

1. Stop courting potential.

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." ~ Maya Angelou

Seeing potential in others, especially a partner, can be powerful and uplifting. A supportive partner who believes in your growth can be absolutely life-changing. There is something special about inspiring encouraging each other's potential and growing, as individuals and together. However, it’s essential not to become solely focused on who someone could be at the expense of seeing them clearly as they are today.

The pitfalls of courting potential:

• They may recognise your belief in them, step up, and make meaningful changes.

• Or, they may remain unchanged, leaving you in a cycle of hope and frustration.

Supporting growth is valuable, but accepting reality can be more so. Courting potential becomes problematic when it keeps you attached to a version of someone that hasn’t materialised, or when it leads you to overlook red flags and excuses in the hope of future improvement. Have you ever found yourself waiting for someone to change, hoping that "one day" things will finally align? The pressure to change and the disappointment you will have in their failing of meeting expectations can negatively impact the relationship.

The habit of courting potential isn’t limited to relationships. Think about a job that has consistently dangled the promise of a promotion without delivering, even after your hard work and loyalty. You deserve to work in a place where your efforts are valued and rewarded.

Practical steps to stop courting potential:

• Assess whether your expectations are based on reality or wishful thinking.

• Set clear boundaries for how much time and energy you’re willing to invest.

• Shift your focus to people and opportunities that align with your current needs and values.

Embrace potential, but stay grounded. Let go of empty promises and start valuing what’s real today. Stop courting potential for a happier life.

Recommended read: Becoming More Aware of Energy Givers and Energy Takers.

2. Stop making yourself small to fit in.

Making yourself small often means downplaying your strengths, minimising your opinions, or hiding your unique qualities to avoid standing out. Over time, this habit can lower your self-esteem and limit your personal growth. When you dim your light, you miss out on opportunities aligned with your authentic self.

Confidence vs. Arrogance – Finding the Balance

It’s natural to feel self-conscious, especially when you’re used to staying quiet or blending in. However, confidence is not arrogance – it’s a form of self-respect, and you are standing in your personal power. You don’t need to be the loudest or smartest person in the room, but you also don’t have to shrink yourself to make others comfortable.

Take up your space unapologetically:

• Stand tall: Keep your posture open and walk with confidence. Channel your personal power.

• Express yourself: Share your opinions, dress as you wish, and pursue your passions without fear.

• Attract genuine connections: Embracing your authenticity will draw people who value you for who you truly are.

Honour your unique gifts and remember that your presence has value. You are magic, worthy, and deserving of your place in this world. Let go of the habit of shrinking yourself and live boldly in your authenticity.

Journal prompts: In what areas of my life do I downplay my true self? How can I start showing up authentically?

3. Stop sharing your love with people who don’t earn it.

Pouring your love and energy into relationships that don’t reciprocate can leave you emotionally drained. Healthy relationships are built on mutual care, respect, and effort. If you’re consistently giving without receiving, the imbalance can lead to feelings of worthlessness.

Signs you’re giving too much:

• You constantly feel exhausted and unappreciated.

• You find yourself seeking validation from people who rarely reciprocate.

• You make excuses for people’s lack of effort or interest.

Loving others should not mean compromising your own self-worth. Seeking validation from people who don’t appreciate you will lower your self-esteem over time. Choose relationships where your love is valued and returned, focusing your energy on people who uplift and cherish you.

Healthy boundaries to protect your emotional well-being:

• Learn to say no without guilt.

• Recognise when to walk away from one-sided relationships.

• Surround yourself with people who appreciate and support you.

As Brené Brown wisely said, "Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others." When you respect your emotional well-being, you create space for healthier, more fulfilling connections.

Actionable step: Redirect your love towards those who genuinely appreciate and reciprocate it. By doing so, you create a circle of support that fosters mutual growth and well-being.

Recommended read: Why and How to Establish Healthy Personal Boundaries and Letting Go of Perfectionism, People-Pleasing, and Procrastination

Today, make the choice to stop doing these 3 things for a happier life. Letting go of what no longer serves you opens space for deeper joy, fulfilment, and personal growth. Gaining self-awareness around these habits can truly be transformative, helping you choose what aligns with your highest good and make choices accordingly. You are worthy of relationships and experiences that uplift and honour you. Take a deep breath and embrace your place in this world, knowing that your happiness and well-being matter.

Spirited Earthling is more than just a blog – it's a gathering place for kindred spirits drawn by an interest in self-discovery, the appeal of self-care, and a desire for a deeper connection to themselves and the world. It is written and created for curious minds and spiritual hearts seeking meaning in everyday life. This blog aims to help you curate your wholesome personal growth with free weekly ideas and affordable resources for sale.

As you navigate your personal growth journey using the words and ideas shared here, consider sharing this blog with someone looking for inspiration or motivation on their own journey. We are all spirited earthlings, and can lift each other together with mindful, connected living. I deeply appreciate every read, share, and purchase.

Thank you for being part of this community.

Best wishes, warmest regards

Jordan 

[Updated in 2025]

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Affirmations: I deserve to be loved and respected now. I am bold and beautiful as I stand in my power. I welcome unconditional love into my life.

Journal Prompts:

• What is one area of my life where I’m holding onto potential rather than reality?

• Are there areas of my life that I self-sabotage?

• What 3 things can I let go of for my personal growth?

To-Do: Identify one relationship, situation, or habit that no longer serves you. Take the first step today towards releasing it.

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