Learn how to embrace self-love to boost self-esteem and strengthen self-worth with actionable strategies for cultivating genuine self-love, overcoming self-doubt, and building unshakeable confidence.

Dear Spirited Earthling,

Most of us know that life is too short to not be your best friend and cheerleader. And yet, that quiet and persistent feeling of self-doubt can chip away at your self-worth, making it harder to love yourself fully. The less worthy you feel, the more you struggle with self-acceptance, which lowers your self-esteem. Feeling not good enough, no matter how much you do can lead you to seek external validation rather than recognising your inherent value. In this guide, you will explore the connection between self-love and self-esteem, uncover why you might struggle with self-worth, and find actionable strategies to help you nurture self-love in your daily life. It is time to embrace genuine self-love because as cultivate it, you naturally boost your self-esteem and strengthen your self-worth, building a foundation of confidence that isn’t easily shaken by external circumstances.

The Link Between Self-Love and Self-Esteem

Many people use self-love and self-esteem interchangeably, but they are different.

Self-love is about accepting yourself unconditionally, regardless of achievements or perceived flaws. It’s the ability to treat yourself with kindness, patience, and respect.

One paper states that self-love is often misaligned and misunderstood as narcissism and selfishness, or is labelled as self-love but measured with a questionnaire about self-compassion or self-esteem. Self-love, as defined in another paper, is an attitude of self-kindness – self-acceptance (being at peace with yourself), self-care (caring for and being protective of yourself), self-contact (giving attention to and awareness of yourself).

Self-esteem is how you perceive your own worth and competence. It can fluctuate based on experiences, successes, or failures.

Research shows that someone with low self-esteem has a lesser opinion of themselves, but it’s not necessarily very negative. There may be areas they know they excel, yet they somewhat lack confidence. When it comes to a relationship, someone with high self-esteem can simply ‘be’, while someone with low self-esteem tends to follow reassurance-seeking behaviours.

When self-love is lacking, self-esteem becomes fragile and often dependent on external validation. When self-love is embraced and built from within, your self-esteem (and ultimately self-worth) grows stronger and remains stable even in difficult times. Learning to love yourself means building an unshakeable belief that you are enough just as you are. Hence, self-love and self-esteem are different but intrinsically linked.

A young woman giving herself a hug, representing self-love

Why You Might Struggle with Self-Worth

If you find it hard to love and value yourself, you’re not alone. Many factors can contribute to struggles with self-worth, including:

Childhood Conditioning: Messages from caregivers, teachers, or society can shape how we see ourselves. If you grew up feeling criticised or unappreciated, you may have internalised the belief that you are not enough.
Perfectionism: Holding yourself to impossible standards can make self-love seem unattainable. If you believe you must achieve perfection to be worthy, self-acceptance will always feel just out of reach.

Comparison Culture: Humans are social creatures, and so comparison is almost inevitable. However, the widespread use of social media can make it easy to compare your life to curated highlight reels, leading to feelings of inadequacy. Add to this, unending advertisement encouraging it so that you buy things you don’t need.
Past Mistakes: If you dwell on past failures, you might struggle to forgive yourself and believe you deserve self-love.
Self-Sabotage: Sometimes, you unconsciously undermine your own happiness and success due to deep-seated fears or limiting beliefs. Self-sabotaging behaviours, such as procrastination, self-criticism, or pushing away positive opportunities, can reinforce low self-worth and make self-love harder to cultivate.

Recognising these influences is the first step to overcoming them. You are not defined by your past or external opinions. Self-worth is something you can reclaim and cultivate.

Shifting Your Mindset: How to Cultivate Self-Love

Self-love is a practice, not an end goal. You probably won’t wake up one day and suddenly feel 100% confident in yourself – it’s something you need to nurture daily. Here’s how:

Challenge Negative Self-Talk

Your inner dialogue shapes your reality. The more you criticise yourself, the more your self-esteem suffers. It isn’t easy, but you need to start challenging negative self-talk:

Question the thought: Is it true? Ask yourself if this thought is based on facts or assumptions. Challenge the evidence.
Reframe the thought
- Instead of “I’m not good enough,” try “I am doing my best, and that is enough.”
- Instead of “I always fail,” try “Every mistake is an opportunity to grow.”
Journal the thought: In general, journaling helps you become more aware of negative self-talk patterns. Journaling about a specific belief you have about yourself can help you understand where it stems, if you regularly self-sabotage in this area of life, and brainstorm where changes can be.
Practice gratitude: As you counter the negative thought, think of someone or something you’re grateful for. It can be something general or specific to the thought, like “I am grateful for the patience I am learning to have with myself” or “I am grateful for the healthy changes I am making and the positive thoughts I think about myself.”

Speaking to a therapist can help you do this with personalised steps. Additionally, speak to honest and trusted loved ones who can help provide some objectivity to the thoughts. Also, seriously look at your actions and consider whether you are self-sabotaging or not.

Set Boundaries

Self-love includes protecting your energy. And so, setting boundaries is an essential act of self-love because you are prioritising your needs and personal well-being. This is because personal boundaries can help you define what is acceptable and not acceptable when it comes to personal space, values, emotions, and what you’re comfortable with and not. By saying no to people, places, and situations that drain you, you are strengthening your self-worth.

Clearly and assertively communicate your boundaries. Consistently enforce and reinforce boundaries (people who are used to taking advantage of you will push against this change, even you it is better for you). Remember that boundaries can grow and evolve so regularly assessing them can help you stay aligned with your current needs and situations.

Prioritise Self-Care

Self-care is simply taking care of your mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. It includes getting enough sleep, moving your body, eating nourishing foods, meditation and prayer, deep breathing, grounding, managing stress etc. It is about making time for things that bring you joy.

Daily self-care is important, and using your love languages as a guide can help you better take care of yourself, because you should be taking care of yourself always and not only when you’re burning out or completely drained.

Celebrate Small Wins

Waiting for major achievements to feel good about yourself is a mistake. Every small step forward is worth celebrating. Whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, choosing a healthy meal, or simply getting out of bed on a tough day - acknowledge and appreciate yourself.

This is because recognising and celebrating small wins reinforces your competence and belief in your abilities. Competence builds confidence. When you celebrate the small wins, you also remind yourself of your progress which can lessen stress and anxiety around reaches goal, as well as promote gratitude.

a smiling woman drawing a heart on the mirror - a show of self-love

Self-Esteem Boosters: Practical Daily Practices

Now that you understand how to cultivate self-love, here are some simple daily habits to help boost your self-esteem:

Mirror Affirmations

Stand in front of a mirror and say affirmations like:

“I am worthy of love and respect.”
“I believe in myself.”
“I accept myself unconditionally.”

It may feel awkward at first, but repeating these affirmations helps rewire your brain for self-compassion.

Journaling for Self-Worth

Write about your strengths, achievements, and what you appreciate about yourself. Try prompts like:

What are three things I love about myself?
What are some challenges I have overcome?
What would I say to a friend who was struggling with self-worth?

Gratitude for Who You Are

Instead of only listing external things you’re grateful for, write down aspects of yourself that you appreciate. Recognising your own value will naturally boost self-esteem.

Letting Go of External Validation

Many people tie their self-worth to approval from others, achievements, or how they compare to societal standards. But true self-esteem comes from within. Here’s how to shift your mindset:

Recognise the Illusion of Perfection: No one is perfect, and chasing perfection leads to self-criticism. Embrace your flaws as part of what makes you uniquely you.
Define Your Own Success: Instead of basing your worth on external markers (money, looks, job title), focus on how you feel about yourself. Look to your values and beliefs for guidance. To some success means staying to themselves, others may define it as having the freedom of choice, and some see success as being happy.
Surround Yourself with Positivity: The people you spend time with influence how you see yourself. Choose relationships that uplift and support you.

The Journey to Self-Love Is Ongoing

Self-love is a powerful practice that you can begin today. Every small act of kindness towards yourself has a lasting impact on your self-worth and confidence. Whether it’s setting a healthy boundary, embracing self-care, or speaking kindly to yourself, you are worthy of love and respect, starting with yourself. Which self-love practice will you embrace today to strengthen your self-esteem? Let me know in the comments.

Spirited Earthling is more than just a blog – it's a gathering place for kindred spirits drawn by an interest in self-discovery, the appeal of self-care, and a desire for a deeper connection to themselves and the world. It is written and created for curious minds and spiritual hearts seeking meaning in everyday life. This blog aims to help you curate your wholesome personal growth with free weekly ideas and affordable resources for sale.

As you navigate your personal growth journey using the words and ideas shared here, consider sharing this blog with someone looking for inspiration or motivation on their own journey. We are all spirited earthlings, and can lift each other together with mindful, connected living. I deeply appreciate every read, share, and purchase.

Thank you for being part of this community.

Best wishes, warmest regards

Jordan

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Embrace Genuine Self-Love to Boost Self-Esteem and Strengthen Self-Worth