What to Let Go Of and Embrace to Be Happier

You deserve to be happy. It is time to let go of things that hold you back and welcome things that encourage a happier and healthier life.

Dear Spirited Earthling,

Life is too short to be anything but happy. And you deserve to be happy. In life, health is wealth so prioritising your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being is essential.

10 Things You Should Let Go of To Live a Happier and Healthier Life

As you choose to be happier and improve your holistic health, letting of these 10 things is the perfect place to start:

1.      Other People's Approval

It is natural to seek approval and acceptance from others. However, the need for other people’s approval can become more a constraint than a driver when your thoughts and actions (your life) are dictated by this external validation.

“If you are an approval addict, your behaviour is as easy to control as that of any other junkie. All a manipulator need do is a simple two-step process: Give you what you crave, and then threaten to take it away. Every drug dealer in the world plays this game.” ~ Harriet B. Braiker

When it comes down to it, you are the one with the key to your own self-worth, self-belief, and self-confidence – it is internally believing it. It is okay not to be liked by everyone. As you let go of seeking other people's approval and finding self-worth from within, you will feel more authentic and begin to live your life for yourself.

Feedback is good, but relying on external validation is damaging. Learn to trust yourself and your own decisions.

“When we inhabit our own life—stop doing things based on the approval of others—we offload baggage and trade up to joy!” ~  Laurie Buchanan

Affirmation: The only approval I seek is mine – I live my life to make myself happy and proud.

2.      Old Stories About Yourself

We all have stories that we tell ourselves about yourselves. These stories and narratives seem to become louder when we criticise ourselves and while overthinking decisions and situations.

“We use stories to order and make sense of our lives, to define who we are, even to construct our realities: this happened, then this happened, then this. I was, I am, I will be. We recount our dreams, narrate our days and organize our memories into stories we tell others and ourselves.” ~ John Capecci and Timothy Cage

The reason to let go of old stories about yourself is to allow yourself to grow and progress. As you challenge and reframe the story you have of yourself, you open yourself up to a more positive and empowering self-image. You will begin to let go of these limiting beliefs and embrace a happier and healthier life.

“Sometimes we have to inspire and encourage ourselves, through our personal narrative. And we start with what we know.” ~ Deborah L. Parker

Affirmation: I choose to believe the best of me and know I am worthy of good things.

3.      Dwelling on the Past and Future

It is hard to love the life you're leading and realise the blessings you have when you are constantly dwelling on the past (the would’ve, should’ve, could’ves of life) and or worrying about the future (anxious about conversations that haven’t happened, stressing about situations that may never occur). Being present and living life comes second when you are simply going through the motions and keeping yourself stuck.

“To get over the past, you first have to accept that the past is over. No matter how many times you revisit it, analyze it, regret it, or sweat it…it’s over. It can hurt you no more.” ~ Mandy Hale

Two truths of life are (1) the past cannot be changed and (2) the future is always uncertain. The past is done and cannot be changed, but today and every day after are chances to make better decisions and take healthier actions. Focus on where you are now and all that you have. Find mindfulness practices that help get you out of your head and into the now. Develop a morning and evening routine that supports your present and future in the best way. Cultivate mindsets that inspire hope for the future.

“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.” ~ Roy T. Bennett

Affirmation: I focus on the present because it is a gift that I am thankful for.

4.      The Need for Control

The need for control is driven by fear of the unpredictable. While this is not uncommon, wanting to control any and every aspect of life is exhausting and increases anxiety, stress, and frustration. There are only so many things you can control, and if it were possible to control everything the serenity prayer would not start with:

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

To let go of the need for control in all things, focus only on the things you can change. Begin to reframe your thoughts, behaviours, and expectations around control, especially how other people act. You cannot control other people, but you can control your reactions.

“Life is to be lived, not controlled.” ~ Ralph Ellison

Life is unpredictable and learning to surrender to life and trusting your journey takes time, but leads to a more fulfilling life. Practice mindsets like the universe conspiring to help you to bring a bit of inner peace and faith to your day.

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don't.” ~ Steve Maraboli

Affirmation: I focus on what I can control and know the rest is taken care of with my highest good in mind.

5.      The Need for Certainty

It is common for humans to fear the unknown and want a sense of certainty to feel safe. But change is the constant of life and an unhealthy need for certainty can be debilitating, disappointing and limiting. Less calculated risks are taken, and new opportunities and experiences can be lost.

“Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.” ~ John Lennon

To let go of the need for certainty, begin to embrace change and the unknown. Step out of your comfort zone more and try new things. Choose to believe that things are going to work out in the best way possible. And when things don’t work out, its because there is something better waiting for you.

“Let go of certainty. The opposite isn't uncertainty. It's openness, curiosity and a willingness to embrace paradox, rather than choose up sides. The ultimate challenge is to accept ourselves exactly as we are, but never stop trying to learn and grow.” ~ Tony Schwartz

Affirmation: I trust the process and timing of life to work out in the best ways possible for me.

6.      Being 'Productive' All the Time

A lot of us measure our worth by how productive we are, how much we get done, and the praise of others for doing and achieving so much. However, constantly striving for productivity can lead to burnout and neglecting self-care.

"You are more than your productivity. You are a human being, not a human doing." ~ Unknown

It is time to let go of the notion that productivity needs to be constant and you are only valuable when you are being productive. Understand that downtime is essential for your overall well-being. There is great value in resting and recharging. Success can be defined in many ways, including showing up for your family (instead of working overtime at a job you are replaceable at), spending time with loved ones (rather than having no boundaries around work hours), and showing up for yourself (too tired to do hobbies and improve skills).

Affirmation: I am enough always, even when I rest.

7.      Your Comfort Zone

It is easy to get comfortable with the familiarity of the usual habits and routines. You feel stable and safe when there is predictability and control. Naturally, trying something different and starting something new can be daunting and is less appealing when you are content in your comfort.

“The comfort zone is a psychological state in which one feels familiar, safe, at ease, and secure. You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.” ~ Roy T. Bennett

However, by letting go of your comfort zone you become more open to new experiences and opportunities. Positive and often significant transformation waits on the other side of your comfort zone. You can build your confidence and feel more accomplished.  

“Life always begins with one step outside of your comfort zone.” ~ Shannon L. Alder

Affirmation: I am safe as I expand my known world.

8.      Waiting to Feel 100 % 'Ready'

The belief that you need to feel 100 % ready before doing something or taking a risk is a myth that many people fall for. This limiting belief is driven by the fear of failure, which leads to missed experiences and opportunities because it holds you back and prevents you from reaching your full potential. The truth is: there is no perfect moment or perfect timing because everything figureoutable.

"It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready." ~Hugh Laurie

Letting go of the belief that you can only act when feeling 100 % ready can lead to untold personal growth and success. Failure is not something to be feared, but something that can be embraced when viewed as solid learning experiences.

“There are two things we should always be 1. raw and 2. ready. When you are raw, you are always ready and when you are ready you usually realize that you are raw. Waiting for perfection is not an answer, one cannot say "I will be ready when I am perfect" because then you will never be ready, rather one must say "I am raw and I am ready just like this right now, how and who I am.” ~ C. JoyBell C.

Affirmation: I am brave and bold, and I trust in my abilities to succeed.  

9.      Perfection (It Doesn't Exist)

Perfection is an abstract and unattainable goal. While having a high standard can lead to brilliance, the need to be perfect can have negative mental health effects. Striving for perfection can hinder progress, stop you from doing things, and lead to a continual cycle of disappointment. Often, the need for perfection can be paralysing.

“Perfectionism is a self destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.” ~ Brené Brown

To let go of perfection, strive for excellence instead. Value progress over perfection and see mistakes as learning opportunities and imperfections as a natural part of life. Remind yourself that failure is normal, and growth isn’t linear.  

“Understanding the difference between healthy striving and perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield and picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it's often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life paralysis.” ~ Brené Brown

Affirmation: I am enough and what I do is enough.

10. Judgment of Self and Others

Too often we are our own worst critics. When we judge ourselves, we embed self-doubt and insecurity into our psyche, lowering our self-esteem and self-confidence. Additionally, harsh judgment of others can cause unnecessary stress and strain on relationships. When we judge others, we lessen our ability to connect with them and see them for who they are (and not who we think they may be).

“If someone isn't what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.” ~ Paulo Coelho

Practice self-awareness and mindfulness to let go of judgement of self and others. Begin to understand the root of your judgment, and how you can avoid it (have a daily routine, gratitude journalling, set boundaries, limit time with people you don’t enjoy being around), and look at people and situations with empathy and understanding. Remember that humans are complex creatures who often don’t make sense but are beautifully imperfect.

“How would your life be different if…You stopped making negative judgmental assumptions about people you encounter? Let today be the day…You look for the good in everyone you meet and respect their journey.” ~ Steve Maraboli

Affirmations: I accept and love myself. I choose to see the best in the best in people.

Choose which of the 10 things to let go of for a happier and healthier life resonates most with you or is true to you, and begin to challenge the beliefs and behaviours associated with them. It will take time to let go of these limiting beliefs depending on how entrenched they may be. Each of these points involves a shift in mindset and a willingness to embrace change and growth. So, take a deep breath, let go of what no longer serves you, and enjoy the present moment.

10 Things You Should Embrace to Live a Happier and Healthier Life

There is always balance in life – the summer to the winter, the desert to the tropics, and the cold to the warm. As you let go of the above things, you are creating space for better things. These are 10 things you should embrace to live a happier and healthier life.

1.      Self-Love and Self-Compassion

Work on building your self-love and self-compassion because these are two essential components for a happier life. Self-love involves accepting yourself fully, imperfections and all. Remind yourself that everyone is a work in progress, including yourself. Extend the grace you give others to yourself. Treating and speaking to yourself kindly can build confidence and resilience. This is self-compassion.

Having a positive and healthy relationship with yourself is the best gift you can give yourself. It takes practice and time to build self-love and self-compassion. Personal self-care is important (exercise, rest, do things that ground you and make you happy) and so is self-care with people (setting boundaries, knowing your influences, and having mindful social interactions).

“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” ~ Louise L. Hay

Affirmation: I am kind to myself because I love myself.

2.      Gratitude

Gratitude is the act of being thankful for all the good things in your life, regardless of how big or small. A gratitude practice helps you focus on these positive aspects and by regularly acknowledging and appreciating them, you begin to see how many blessings each day holds. Gratitude helps cultivate an abundance mindset and research shows that it benefits your mental, physical and spiritual health as well as your relationships.

Have a gratitude journal where you list what you are grateful for that day. As you wake up and before you go to sleep think of three things that you're grateful for. Tell people in your life that you appreciate their presence, support, love, or encouragement.

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.” ~ Eckhart Tolle

Affirmation: I am grateful for all I have and all I continue to receive, with harm to no being.

3.      Mindfulness

Mindfulness is the practice of being present in the now so that you are fully engaging with life. There is no judgment and distraction. You become more self-aware and grounded, helping you better emotionally regulate. When you're focused on the present moment, you aren’t fretting about the future or pondering the past.

Mindfulness is more than meditation – it includes breathwork, mindful walking (like forest bathing), having a journaling practice, romanticising your life, and creating vision boards.

“Life is a dance. Mindfulness is witnessing that dance.” ~ Amit Ray

Affirmation: I engage with my life because I love it.

4.      Resilience

Challenges and setbacks are guaranteed in life so strengthening resilience is a skill that will assist you forever. Resilience enables you to get through tough times with hope and determination, to bounce back and ultimately come out stronger after facing them.

Adopting a growth mindset and embracing failure can help build and strengthen resilience. Achieving your goals will become more believable as you continue to work towards your desired outcomes.

“I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.” ~ William Ernest Henley

Affirmation: I am resilient and know I will progress and succeed.

5.      Flexibility and Adaptability

Life is dynamic which makes change inevitable, and so being flexible is an invaluable skill. Flexibility in life means you can better cope with change without losing much focus and momentum. Adaptability is the ability to adjust and soon thrive in new conditions and situations.

To become more flexible to navigate the ups and downs of life with more ease and grace, practice emotional regulation and adopt mindsets that value adaptability over rigidity (like growth and open mindsets).

• “Wisdom requires a flexible mind.” ~ Dan Carlin

Affirmation: I am flexible and adaptable, so I thrive with change and new experiences and environments.

6.      Connection with Others

Today, it is too easy to get caught up in your own life and neglect connecting with loved ones. Yet, connection with others is an essential part of living a happy and healthy life and is an aspect of life to prioritise. Humans are social creatures, and connecting with others can help you feel more supported, loved, and fulfilled.

Embracing connections with others and building healthy relationships can be done by having standing days to speak with each other, joining clubs, and volunteering. You will begin to feel happier as you feel a sense of belonging, purpose, and fulfilment.

“Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom.” ~ Marcel Proust

Affirmations: I am surrounded by loving, supportive, and honest people. I am so thankful.

7.      Curiosity

Curiosity is the driving force behind learning, discovery, and progress for humans. Being curious opens you to different ideas and deepens your understanding of the world and yourself. Embracing curiosity in life is not only good, but crucial for self-development and growth because of the desire to learn and explore new avenues and opportunities.

Curiosity ignites creativity and encourages innovation. Embrace curiosity by exploring new ideas, being open to new experiences, questioning your beliefs and views, and trying new things. Some people are led by their passions, and others are led by their curiosity. So be curious and see where it takes you.

“Pursue what catches your heart, not what catches your eyes.” ~ Roy T. Bennett

Affirmation: I love learning and being curious about myself and life.  

8.      Open-Mindedness

Open-mindedness involves a willingness to consider different perspectives without immediate judgment, making you more accepting of people (allowing for understanding and empathy) and adaptable to change.

Like curiosity, being open-minded can expand your perspectives, spark new ideas, and help find innovative solutions. You can have and make informed opinions and decisions by learning about different cultures, traditions, philosophies, and ways of thinking.

“The mind is just like a muscle - the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets and the more it can expand.” ~ Idowu Koyenikan

Affirmation: I am open to new ideas, experiences, and opportunities.

9.      Personal Growth

Personal growth leads to a happier and healthier life because you are working on developing knowledge and skills and improving your mindset and habits. This helps you become more fulfilled, confident, and successful. Personal growth involves getting to know yourself, who you want to be and what you want your dream life to look like and building on knowledge and skills.

To embrace more personal growth in your life, set goals and take action (read books, attend courses and workshops, learn from others who have achieved similar or the same goals). Cultivate a growth mindset to support your personal growth.

“Great things happen to those who don't stop believing, trying, learning, and being grateful.” ~ Roy T. Bennett

Affirmation: I choose to invest in myself and become the best version of myself because I deserve to.

10. Authenticity

Having the ability to be true to yourself and living in a way that is consistent with your beliefs and values should be highly valued in today's world. Living authentically means external expectations or validations are less important than living according to your principles.

Embracing authenticity can be challenging because much of the world thrives on conformity and fitting in is encouraged from an early age. Remind yourself that your strengths, weaknesses, quirks, and unique qualities make you who you are – and your place in this world is needed. You will build more genuine connections when you are genuine to you. Living an authentic life means living a fulfilling and rich life.

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” Brene Brown

Affirmations: I love who I am. I walk to life living authentically.

These 10 things you should embrace to live a happier and healthier life can have a discomfort period as you're making changes to your thoughts and actions. Your comfort zone is expanding, and your mindset is improving. It's a continuous process, so be patient with yourself and celebrate the progress along the way. Embracing these 10 things can help you create a more positive and fulfilling life.

Spirited Earthling is more than just a blog – it's a gathering place for kindred spirits drawn by an interest in self-discovery, the appeal of self-care, and a desire for a deeper connection to the world. Written and created for curious minds and spiritual hearts seeking meaning in everyday life, this blog aims to help you curate your wholesome personal growth with free weekly ideas and affordable resources for sale.

As you navigate your personal growth journey using the words and ideas shared here, consider sharing this blog with someone looking for inspiration or motivation on their own journey. We are all spirited earthlings, and can lift each other together with mindful, connected living.

Thank you for being part of this community.

Best wishes, warmest regards

Jordan

---

 Connect with Spirited Earthling on your favourite social platforms and say hello 🌻

Join our Telegram group for a link to the new blog post of the week  ♡

Resources for mind, body, and soul growth 🖤